Chapter 35: On Religion

where we learn what Karma is.

Why am I such a bad tempter? I think my main problem is that I overestimate human logic. I know that humans are partly driven by their Strange Subconscious Thingy, but I assume that their mind is able to understand the logic of egoism. However, most of them follow some other logic, a logic that makes altruism appear rational. If I don't understand this logic, I can't argue against it.

So I asked the old librarian whether he can explain me why so many humans consider altruism logical. I already had observed that some humans think that some supernatural power will reward them if they help each other. Turns out there are several rival concepts of supernatural rewards for being gentle. I'll try to resume the most important ones:

 

Earthly Reward

The simplest variant: Some humans believe that giving to other people is rewarded in this life by some metaphysical superviser, aka God. While it's kind of obvious that this is not how the world works, you would be surprised how many people think that is how the world should work. When humans suffer, they often ask "what did I do to deserve this", an attitude that assumes that luck and suffering happen for a reason, that they are rewards and punishment for former actions. 

Strangely, humans who have luck seldom wonder how they deserve it.

Earthly Karma
Same as the earthly reward coming from some metaphysical superviser - only without the superviser.

 

Heavenly Reward

Similar to the "Earthly Reward" theory, but the reward is delayed to the afterlife. The metaphysical superviser notes the good deeds and sins in a big book, and determines the reward or punishment after the death.

Depending on the religion, the reward consists on flying around and playing harp, on sitting in Abrahams lap, in having sex with 72 virgins, or whatever. Christianism initially promised an "Hevenly wedding feast", but as it is not clear who is married to whom, it has gradually been replaced by the flying-around-and-playing-harp variant, which is in my opinion much less appealing than the wedding feast, let alone the 72 virgins.

Note that this is maybe the closest to how things really work - but with some differences. Good deeds and sins are indeed listed in big books - but not by Heaven but by Hell, and not to reward or punish humans but tempters - see my last post. As mentioned in said post, it's not good deeds and sins that count for who goes to Heaven and who to Hell, but attitude. Deeds and sins are only symptoms.

 

Posthumous Karma
Same as "Heavenly Reward", but without the supervisor. Very popular in asian countries. The reward is often a pleasant reincarnation, for example not as a cockroach.

Calvinism

The same as "heavenly reward" where the superviser rewards good deeds in the afterlife, but without the good deeds. Calvinists believe that God chooses due to some obscure agenda who receives gifts in the afterlife and who doesn't, and that good deeds or sins don't have anything to do with it.

 

Advanced Calvinism

Like Calvinism, but the Almighty's chosen ones receive earthly gifts in addition to the heavenly ones. Earthly wealth is interpreted as sign for god's love. Amusingly, this somewhat inverts the "Heavenly Rewards" paradigm, as those who take from others get richer, which is interpretated as sign of God's grace, thus they are rewarded in the afterlife. That's why this system brings much more souls home to hell than anyone else. Infernal Marketing considers the popularity of Advanced Calvinism in the United States as one of its greatest successes. 

Those are the main variants of what humans consider "rewards by heaven". Maybe I forgot some - I'm new to the subject.

Chapter 28: In Jail

In which I face an inquisitional court and am punished for my own stupidity.

I'm writing this post from an oubliette somewhere in 6th cercle. The summons yesterday was very short. The inquisitional court consisted of a magistrate - judge and accuser in one person - and two assessors.

 

 

First, the magistrate read the accusation: "Fraternization with humans by promise of favours". From this mmoment on I knew that I was doomed. In a hell trial, the guilt and the judgement are determined from the beginning, the trial is only a demonstration of justice. In this case, the demonstration was very short: One of the assessors read the text of the favour voucher for Divine Light - the name was certainly not an aspect in my favour - then the other assessor allowed me to defend myself. I stuttered something about too short formation as tempter and the necessity of knowing the humans' customs - but after some sentences the magistrate raised the hand to command silence. 

 

Then I made an error. The first assessor said that I'm obviously guilty, but that the sentence will depend on my cooperation. He asked me if I knew a demon who had committed some kind of heresy. The Old Librarian came to my mind - he had helped me without demanding anything in return, which was a severe violation of the principles of hell. Denouncing him would certainly reduce my punishment - the more trouble he gets, the less I suffer. 1st Dogma. 

 

But something happened inside me at this moment. I don't know what, but I heared myself say "No, I don't know any heretic." When I realized what I had said, it was too late - I wanted to correct myself, yell "No, I know someone, the old librarian..." but the magistrate ordered me, again, to remain silent. Too late. Too fucking late. I was doomed.

 

After a minute of silence, the magistrate spoke the sentence: Being devoured alife by hellhounds. The execution will take place within 24 hours. The court was closed.

Chapter 27: Going Down

In which I am in a vertical train.

I have to appear in 6th Circle in some hours, for my summons. I'm writing these lines in the Downway, the infernal transport system. You can imagine it as something between a subway, a rack railway and an elevator:

 

 The downway ends at Styx Terminal in 5th. Everything below 5th Circle belongs to the security zone known as the "City of Dis", it's not accessible by Downway. I will have to cross the river Styx and to enter the gate of the Walls of Dis to get to my summons. I hope the Fallen Angels who guard the gate won't cause any trouble.

Yesterday evening I spoke to the old librarian and told him about my trouble - not that I consider him a friend, but he already helped me before, and I thought he might give me again some useful hints. And he did - don't ask me why. He said my best defense strategy would be to blame my superiors for not preparing me for reality. Corporate requires that a tempter gets at least one year of education before being sent to Earth. It seems that my unprepared mission on Earth was due to some administrative error. The idea is simple: The more trouble I cause to my superiors by denouncing them, the less trouble remains for myself, due to the first Dogma of Hell. 

But he also warned me that a summons by a court of Inquisition is never a piece of cake. Usually the sentence is clear from the beginning, the procedure's purpose is only to justify it. If the Inquisitor in charge wants to punish me, he will do so, no matter what defense I have. 

I'm scared. I'm writing this on my hellphone, but I don't know whether I have access to my blog when I'm inside Dis; And I don't know whether I will ever come out or if I will be devoured or pass the rest of eternity in some torture chamber or oubliette. If I'm unlucky this will be my last post. 

But who knows...  

Chapter 10: On Symbols

In which we learn about harmful symbols.

Back to the library. The stories about demons destroyed by exorcism worried me, so I looked for books about other dangers to avoid "up there". Maybe kind of a beginner's handbook, I thought - but it turns out there is no such thing as a "Junior tempter's guide to reality". Too bad.

However, the old librarian demon helped me - again. This apparent selflessness is suspicious, I wonder what he really wants. He gave me a lesson about dangers and traps in the world of humans. Besides encounters with enemy agents, there is actually one thing that can harm a demon : Symbols. According to my "mentor", symbols are a link between both worlds - somewhat halfway between matter and ideas.

Of course I am familiar with symbols - they are very common in Hell. Everyone and everything has a symbol. Take for example my personal sigil. It looks like this :

Well, it doesn't look exactly like this, of course, I'm not stupid - I made some modifications for my own protection. Sigils are, just like names, very powerful, and knowing one demon's real sigil or real name gives you power over him.

One of the fundamental "natural laws" of our world is that a symbol - be it a sigil, a name, a melody, a gesture, whatever - is in a fashion identical with the symbolized. Whoever has my sigil has me. Woever speaks a word of power has power. Whoever makes a gesture of destruction causes destruction. this has nothing to do with causality - it's mystical identity. Difficult to explain.

Now, according to my mentor, humans know instinctively this principle : The symbol is identical with the symbolized. They call it "magic". I didn't remember everything my mentor told me, and my lack of knowlege of human customs make it difficult for me to illustrate this with examples. Maybe I will write another post about magic, later, when I know more about humans.

But what's important right now for me is that a lot of humans, in particular servants of the Enemy, know a lot of formulae, gestures and other symbols that can hurt a demon: The cross symbol, prayers, holy water, blessing gestures, holy books like the Bible or the Quran, incense, the color green... Of course, those things are only harmful when used as religious symbols - green harms only when used as symbol of the Islam, and a cross used as plus sign isn't dangerous at all.

By the way, symbols are also the weapons exorcists use to expulse and destroy demons. Experienced demons know techniques and counter-symbols to defend against symbol attacks, but for rookie demons like me there is only one advise when stumbling upon a religious symbol: Run like hell!

My mentor gave me advice about the most common religious symbols, and how to avoid them. And again, he didn't want anything in exchange for his help. Strange... If I only knew what he is up to...

Chapter 5: On the Library

In which I meet something that can't possibly exist: A gentle demon.

I'm somewhat worried. In some days we are to be sent to the physical world, the so-called "reality", yet nobody cares. Corporate wants us to be prepared for the things to come, but didn't even replace the teacher.

So I went to the public library in order to find out for myself what this "reality" is. When I looked through the endless shelves of dusty books, something unusual happened, something that never happened to me before: Somebody asked me whether I need help. The person who asked was a librarian, an old demon with a broken left horn. Naturally, I assumed there was a price to pay, somewhat he wanted in exchange, but he denied, he just wanted to help.

Now that was one strange behaviour. Demons just aren't selfless. Besides being a severe heresy, selflessness is just stupid. Life is a zero-zum game, what one demon gains, another demon loses. So why would anyone let another demon gain something ? It's illogical. Unless, of course, this librarian has some very selfish reasons for this seemingly selfless behaviour. Maybe a bet or something. Of course I was suspicious, but he insisted that he won't claim any payment later - so declining his offer to help seemed almost as stupid to me than the offer itself.

I told him that I wanted to learn about reality. "I see... Junior tempter ?" he asked. "Yes." - "I was a tempter when I was younger... 17th century France... Had some great successes at the court of Versailles... Well, I guess you understant nothing of what I'm telling you. I will get you some basic works about Reality, from both humans and demons. Platon, Andromalius, Gremory..." He limped away and came back with some books. "Here, read this. If you have questions, just ask me."

Well, I think it will take a while to read all those.