Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Chapter 11: On Canterbury

In which we learn about a demonic hero and a human martyr.

I was in temptation office to find out whether it has been decided where on Earth I am to be sent to. Turns out it hasn't yet. When I filled out the forms, I put into the case "desired destination" the name "Canterbury, Kent". The reason is that this is the only city name on Earh I have ever heared about. Every demon in Hell knows the name "Canterbury", because of the popular demon Zardax. Who in hell doesn't know the story of Zardax, the hero of Canterbury?

It happened around a thousand years ago, or let it be 800. Zardax wasn't an ordinary tempter, charged of tempting a specific person - he was a "special agent", a tempter sent to Earth to deal with a problematic situation. The situation, in this case, was a completely shipwrecked operation of the "human politics" department, called "Operation Puppetplayer". Zardax was sent to earth for limitation of defect, and what he did was... Well, I better starts from the beginning.

The goal of Operation Puppetplayer had been to corrupt and to undermine the church of England. A weak church is in general a good thing. At this time there was some tension between the church of England and King Henry II, and Corporate had decided to support the king. The start of the operation went smoothly: Our agents had achieved that the king's Lord Chancellor, a certain Thomas Becket, was named Archbishop of Canterbury. He seemed to be the ideal candidate: Intelligence had reported that Becked was decadent, not religious at all, a glutton, drunkart and sinner, and most important: Completely allegiant to the king. He wasn't even priest at this time, he had to be ordained in a hurry. Furthermore, Becket's personal tempter was an experienced and talented demon. What could possibly go wrong?

We shouldn't have been so damn sure about this man. The thing that went wrong was this: After having become Archbishop of Canterbury, Becket discovered god. I don't know why and how this happened, I don't know how many agents of the Enemy were involved, but the results couldn't have been worse. It was a desaster. Becket dropped his Chancellorship, he transformed into an ascetic, and worst of all, he exchanged the loyality to the king for a loyality to the church and did whatever he could to defend the church against the king's attempts to limit it's powers and liberties. The unwilling human agent of hell transformed into a willing agent of the Enemy. The conflict between state and church grew to a war, which could have been a good thing - problem was, the church was willing the war. The pope was already about to excommunicate the king. This had to be stopped.

This is when Zardax was sent to earth. Seeing that all attempts to change Becket's mind were useless, he decided to have Becket eliminated. And he did this in the most spectacular and glorious way, a way that earned him a prestigious title and founded his reputation as hero of Hell. You won't believe it: He had Thomas Becket slain, by four honorable king's knights, in the Cathedral of Canterbury, during the service! Having Becket killed was a good move - but doing so in the Enemy's local headquarters, in the full symbolic presence of the Enemy, was a slap in the face for the Enemy. I don't know whether or not the Enemy did care - but Hell was overjoyed. What a coup de main! What a humiliation for the Enemy! What a victory! What a hero!


Well, between you and me, some infernal historians doubt that this was this much a victory for Hell. Of course, we obtained the knight's souls, but Becket became a martyr, inspired many followers of the Enemy and may be still known in modern days - according to those historians. Maybe a more discreet death would have been more useful, some say. But please note that I didn't say I share their opinion - I don't want to get into trouble with Inquisition. Official doctrine says Zardax was a hero, so he was a hero, period.

Anyway, the name "Canterbury" sounds great as a place to be sent to. I've no idea whether it would please me - but wouldn't it be cool to brag about operating in the same location as the famous Zardax did ?

I hope I'll be sent to Canterbury!

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