You may have wondered where I've been the past ten days. Well, my hellphone and internet connection has been disabled. The reason: I was dead - from an administrative point of view.
What had happened was the following : After my summons, Inquisition had sent a copy of my death sentence to Demonic Ressources, with the scheduled date of the execution. As the note had arrived after the date, DR had considered me as dead and had issued a death certificate. This is a standard procedure, as things like reprieve or pardon don't exist in hell - theoretically. Copies of the certificate had then be sent to all other concerned authorities, from my superiors over my bank to the hellphone and internet provider. Can you imagine the paperwork it requires to have all this nullified?
My internet connection was, of course, the least of my problems. My bank accounts were frozen, my room declared vacant, my mail was sent back and my ID card was no longer active. As communication by mail or email was not possible, I had to go personally to R&D to have the death certificate nullified. The problem was, to appeal against the certificate, I had to file an administrative appeal. Now, when an infernal authority receives an appeal, first thing they do is to verify the identity of the sender. In this case, the sender was officially dead, so they would not even read the appeal. So, I couldn't appeal the fact that I was officially dead - because I was officially dead.
Plus, the clerks I disputed with were not really cooperative. They saw me, living and talking and rather angry, yet they insisted that I was officially dead. Or that I wasn't who I pretehded to be, as this guy was officially dead. It took me days of discussion and a fortune of bribe money to squeeze a helpful information: The authorities verify if the sender was alife the day he filed the appeal. In consequence, if I backdated the appeal to a date when I was still officially alife, the appeal was not refused.
There was only one date I could put on the appeal which would not lead to an automatical refusal: The very date of my official death. Any date before, and the appeal was considered invalid (as it was written before the document it contested), any date after, and I was considered invalid. Of course, I still had to find a reason why I contested the death certificate. "Here I am, writing to you and feeling fine" was not a valid reason, from an administrative point of view. I had to find a formal defect. Luckily due to my experience in accountance, I found one: The date on the death certificate was written in the order day/month/year, but a year ago, corporate had issued an order that all official papers had to respect the format month/day/year. That was the reason why I considered my death certificate invalid, officially.
And, believe me or not, it worked. Today I got a letter that I am, for the time being, not dead, until rectification of the formal defect. Of course, this alone does not solve the problem - as soon as they issued a rectified death certificate with day and month written in the correct order, I will have the same problem. But now that I am provisorly alife, I can do the necessary administrative steps to prove to the authorities that I have never been executed, actually. I've still a lot of paperwork before me, but I am out of this deadlock situation.
Plus, I've the net again. Yay !
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